I Am A Woman…Incompetent To Men!

Food for thought-  I have been working all my lives to be equal to my counterpart, just to realize in the end that in this fight of equality , I have lost all what I originally had. 

From ‘Today’s Woman!

The title itself invites some ‘over-the-top’ responses like–‘Oh sure! you cannot’  or  ‘who said you can?” . However, for a change, I don’t really care. Yes, you heard me, I don’t really care!  I don’t care if I am feeble, if I am less intrepid, if I am capricious or volatile. To be equal to men in every sphere of life does not interests me much now. Did I try to be equal to men earlier? Yes, most definitely I did, owing to the amount of fear the horrific incidents instills in me, owing to the social stigma attached to being a girl in our society I tried to make peace with all the  bullshit going around.

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Today when I look back and see things, they are all the same. My trying hard has made no impact on the world, it still thinks of me as a small feeble being who will always be two steps behind. What I lost in all these years of being equal to our counterparts is being who I actually am. God created two species “Men and Women” with different capabilities and different set of duties. In trying to do things what men can do, woman forgot doing what she was actually meant for. In trying to be equivalent to men, women have lost all what she originally had. We are different and we must learn to celebrate the difference rather than living on a fallacy of equality. I do not want to be on the same platform where men are , because the truth is men fight their own battle too, they have their own idiosyncrasies owing to which they go through their own situations, which we, may be, can never even think of.

The world works on equilibrium or balance or the theory of yin-yang, which many people don’t really get. But it does. The difference between a man and a woman is obvious, not just apparently ….even otherwise. I was a part of this conversation the other day where people were arguing about who is better, men or women. I rarely had anything special to say so I chose to just listen. All the girls gave many examples of girls reaching the other planets and hence making a difference to “girls community”. How does these things even matter when we discuss such issues today?

Woman can never be equal to men, and vice- versa.. and here I am not talking about the mental capabilities of anyone. Even if a woman is a trained fighter she just cannot fight ten men attempting to rape her. This is, however, another part of the story. As long as I am comfortable in being who I am, I am doing the duties demanded of me, well, I don’t want to be equal to men in any way. I would rather prefer being complimentary to them !

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Choices Beget Judgements, Which Again is a Choice!

“It is your choice to have sex outside marriage and if he chooses the same, do not call him a womanizer then. Because it is his right to make an opinion about it, it is his choice to call you whatever he wants”. And then it will be your choice to slap him and then again he can choose to harm you in whatever manner he wants to..but you are not allowed to freak out then, because it was your choice to have sex outside marriage.
Doesn’t this sounds like a confusing state of democracy, where everyone is fighting because he has a right to choose to hurt the other person and the other person has some freaking choice as well. My God—That ‘Vogue Woman empowerment video-My Choices’ has really managed to freakout my thoughts and has made me outscore even Kamal R Khan when it comes to absurdity. I am still figuring out what is Ms. Padukone and of course the director is trying to convey with the video, except for the word CHOICE. I watched the video thrice to make sure if I am not hearing anything wrong. On the first place why is it even potrayed as something related to “Woman Empowerment”? I did not find even a single sentence meant to preach woman empowerment. Please correct me if I am going wrong but seriously I can’t find anything empowering except for making choices, and not repenting.

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Barbarism Isn’t Uniquely Indian: Something BBC Badly Missed Out On!

Disclaimer: This is not meant to hurt anyone’s sentiments or to defend the convicts. The information is taken from various newspapers!

The BBC documentary  ‘India’s Daughter’ has invoked many agitated reactions. Every section of media is clear and loud about its point on banning the documentary. I have personally seen the documentary and didn’t really like it much. Yes it throws a good deal of light on what happened that night, what the convict has to say and how lawyers defended the convicts. I have already done a post on convict’s filth filled statement in the documentary. The views and rapist mentality can’t get any uglier! How the lawyers reacted and defended the victims even after being given the status of “Gods of Justice” they crossed all the lines of barbarism. However, lawyers’ statement is totally a different aspect, which is out of scope of this post for now.

Coming back to ‘India’s Daughter’-The Documentary. Leslee Udwin’s documentary claims to be a mirror of Indian men mentality. In the beginning, having just overlooked the documentary, I strongly resisted Government Of India’s stance of banning it. Yes, some of our silly politicians have defended this stance by citing stupid examples and giving some over-the-top statements. Like Mr. Home Minister said they banned the film because ” Mukesh Singh’s views is defaming the country”. This is incorrect! What ever he said was sheer nonsense. They say something one day and get away with it because, obviously, they have their political stature at their disposal. However, the documentary gives us some reasons to question its so called claimed objective of “Social Purpose”. I am not defending any side here , when I say that the documentary slandered only Indian men and not the rapists in general This raise questions on why the international media has not done something similar explaining rapes in many other countries, for let’s say ‘Social Purpose’?

Admit it or not but after the 16th December rape case, things have taken a face lift from nothing to something, in relation to dealing with rape cases in our country. Yes, this country has still witnessed multiple rape cases in post-nirbhaya period, which resulted from lack of implementation of investigative measures and the unsafe environments. The documentary portrayed Indian society as a perverted one and not the rapists as real criminals. Yes, it attacks Indian society on the face of it. Even after being a woman I am saying this because the documentary is not fair ( as it claims to be), because it no where shows the action taken by our society and its people after the incident happened. Doesn’t our reaction after the incident also showcase one part of how Indians are? It clearly mocked Indian law and out judicial process by not following the legal advice of not broadcasting the documentary before final verdict of Supreme court. The filmmaker has done a brilliant job in joining the pieces and portraying the picture well, but it just shows Indian share of savagery. Rapes happen everywhere and with the same brutality as in the Nirbhaya’s case ..sometimes even more. From California to Canada to Washington to UK, and everywhere else.

Facts about some rape victims: A Canadian girl was gang-raped in the bus in Glasgow, in front of all the passenger and photographed. She committed suicide after her photograph was spread throughout the internet. The convicts were as young as 13 year old. Then there was this case in California where victim was beaten , stripped, raped and photographed in public. To quote the statement I read somewhere about this ” Some took photographs of the scene and other laughed”. The other day I read in the newspaper about a college student who raped a woman by forcing a vacuum cleaner into a woman’s private parts. Then there was one man who raped a woman by forcing her to lie nude on the snow covered road. Can anyone tell me why most of the people still don’t know about it and the entire world is speaking of Nirbhaya? It is not that speaking the case is wrong, my point is that why these cases from the other side of world doesn’t go beyond local news channels and a few international newspapers? Can we just say, they were trying to be responsible about sensationalizing the issue on international front, just like GOI is doing?
Sexual violence against women is a worldwide issue and societies from all the countries are not doing enough to protect women across the world. Let’s not forget this when we agonize about rapes in India. The amendment in sexual violence laws after December 16 rape case has made victim’s statement enough for prosecution, which is a big advancement in itself. The case becomes a national news (sometimes international) as soon as it happens now, which doesn’t give perpetrators much room to escape. The number of cases being reported are still less, owing to the social stigma attached to it. But things are getting better–as the facts state. To the BBC, the question is if “Social Purpose” was so much necessary then why it didn’t release something similar on Rotherham case? Where nearly 1500 children were sexually assaulted. If the filmmaker and the news channel is so clear about the ‘Social Purpose’ then why did it stopped to showcase ‘society’s mirror’ in Rotherham case? And why didn’t they talked much about sexual abuses committed by T.V and radio host (Celebrity Big Brother fame)Jimmy Savile.
The content that documentary aired is not incorrect, it is just incomplete by showing one sided Indian part of brutality, which once again refrains us from thinking that sexual violence doesn’t stop by switching countries. Rapist mentality is not just Indian, it is even worst outside–as depicted by the examples stated above. And this won’t go with waving of a magic wand! Also, I think the filthy comments from convict doesn’t affect views of other men out there (if they are real men) and neither it adds to the same kind of thinkers. Besides it is very important to know the rapist mentaity as it might prove for addressing sexual violence issues in a better way.

Mahatma Gandhi Was Correct About Freedom!

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Nirbhaya episode is history now. History, usually, is supposed to teach its readers some kind of a lesson, but this is different you see. After the tragic incident happened, after the uproar and agitation that followed, after people (again) became complacent of what all happened I very much awaited this moment. The moment when I could actually sit back and listen, what the convicts had to say. I always wondered how would these rape  convicts have felt after they were harshly punished by our law. Did the punishment change what they think about their crime? Or do they realize what happened was a crime? And,you see, my wait was worth the response–it didn’t disappoint me at all.

“A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy.When being raped, she shouldn’t fight back. She should just be silent and allow the rape. Then they’d have dropped her off after ‘doing her’, and only hit the boy.You can’t clap with one hand – it takes two hands. A decent girl won’t roam around at 9 o’clock at night. A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy. Boy and girl are not equal. Housework and housekeeping is for girls, not roaming in discos and bars at night doing wrong things, wearing wrong clothes. About 20 per cent of girls are good. The death penalty will make things even more dangerous for girls. Before, they would rape and say, ‘Leave her, she won’t tell anyone.’ Now when they rape, especially the criminal types, they will just kill the girl. Death.” Mukesh Singh (Convict in Nirbhaya Rape Case)

What a super cool statement it is! I am impressed I must say! He is right -A girl is far more responsible for the rape than a boy. How? Let’s throw some light on a couple of mistakes she is responsible for:

Mistake no. 1: Dude! She has better legs than a guy has, better chest, better butts and better persona. Also, she has a very little physical strength that eventually makes her responsible for not stopping rapists.

Mistake no. 2: She takes freedom too seriously man! She thinks M.K Gandhi and other freedom fighters were serious when they bragged about “Swaraj”. How dare she roam around fearless, in short dresses and that too at night. My God, she is just nobody to do that. She is not a guy after all.

Mistake no. 3: You know what she is one hell of that idiotic person who gives way too much importance to our Constitution. Article 14 tells us something about equality. Arey.. but to quote this legend “Boys and Girls are not equal”! The discos aren’t for girls, they are just for guys.

Mistake no. 4: How senseless she sounds when she talks about going out, earning money, working hard and helping her partner to make two ends meet! Even if all this involves being stalked at, being assaulted sometimes, being raped and some other senseless worries. What a fool she is!

There was one friend of mine, who was very much adamant about everything. This adamant nature of his many a times brought pointless beatings and thrashings to him. Instead of making him understand the “substance” of the mistake he made, his mom diluted it by beating him. And one fine day he made a serious mistake without fearing the repercussions. I asked him about the reason behind this fearlessness. He said ” mom will beat me and get away, she can’t stop me from doing any of this, as I am accustomed to these thrashings now.” This statement from the convict reminds me of that friend. He is not afraid of even death sentence as far as he is concerned about fulfilling his desire to physically assault a woman and rape her. How easily he said death penalties would make the situation worst for girls! As if he is punishing girls for the punishment he received for raping a woman. What a great way of disguising the crime! What a shame he is to human kind!  We, the people of India talk about freedom. I don’t know on what basis? Yes, MR. Gandhi was right about freedom when he said

Real Swaraj is self-rule or self-control” . If people of the country has no self-control, there is no point in raising the flag of freedom. Who is free here? Not me and the rest of the girls of our country at least. We can’t wear short dresses in a country as free as India, we cannot move out at night in a country as free as India, we cannot raise our voices (or we can be raped to death) in a country as free as India.

Your people are failing you Mr. Gandhi! They didn’t really understand freedom when you talked about “Swaraj”. It is self-control first that leads to freedom, because it is our duty to serve ourselves and our thoughts first, to free our thoughts from desire to seek pleasure at the cost of other’s lives.

Anyway! Mr. Rapist, you disgust me to an extent that  writing ‘rapist’ in this write-up is less abusive  than writing your name here. YOU ARE A SHAME TO HUMAN KIND!

P.S:  What did you mean when you said discos aren’t for girls.What? You mean, you want to have gay encounters out there?  

I am considering retirement…

I ‘ve heard people saying that you should never opt your hobby as a full-time career because then it slowly and steadily destroys your love and enthusiasm towards it. Then there comes a time when you almost start hating your work, with no other option left, but to work halfheartedly. Honestly, I never believed these underrated pessimistic statements. I still don’t! I am one of those rare souls who tried to opt hobby as a career, got a very positive response in the beginning, and then suddenly all went like a topsy-turvy land. I hate my job now and when I am saying this I don’t really mean hating my hobby. My poor luck has put me into a really disturbing situation where I work under this totally uncool manager, who thinks I am good for nothing. I do things here that are far away from my actual hobby and these ‘things’ are invariably ruining my skills. My mind constantly pokes me about “How unproductive I have become” and ” How my graph has been on a constant decline” since I entered “Retro city” (my office).  This 9 to 6 scenario is just getting the worst out of me.   stay_happy_my_friend-556021 So, by and large, (for now) I am not happy with the fact that I have taken up this job, and ended up lying in lurch and that I have grown-up. Growing up comes with many strings and cliches attached. It comes with some mandatory risks –which are indeed important. But for now I am considering retirement from this whole ‘Growing Up’ process. I am relapsing from my early days to the days when staying foolish was allowed, when talking stupid was allowed, when all our wishes were fulfilled, when eating ice-cream was the greatest thing I could wish for, where life was much much lively and fun. I want to play the stupidest of the games again. I want to be happy and contented with the silly petty things again, I want to go and sleep with my mom again and I want to trick mom with that silly ‘stomach ache’ gimmick to bunk the regular routine wrapped life. P.S: Stay Foolish, and eat all the ice creams! 😉

Sydney Siege, Peshawar attacks or tragic 16th Dec 2012…R.I.P Humanity!

I wrote this post long time back. Thought of posting it, but for some grammatical reasons it was lying safe in my “Draft House”. The incidents I was writing about are past now and it’ll be a perfect epitome of sciolism to talk about them now. But I am still posting it as a gesture of wrath for all those who are responsible for spreading all the ill-feelings in the air in 2014.

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A lot is happening in the world with hatred howling from every corner. It has been like “I don’t like your religion—shoot (gunshot); I like your legs—rape; you don’t follow my orders—blast. Has humanity really taken a backseat? Really? Don’t people feel anything? Don’t they realize they too have a mother, children, and a wife? How would they feel if something similar happens to any of these? These realities seem like a horror story to me…where rapists threaten girls to get raped or they would do what happened with #nirbhaya, where out of nowhere a man terrifies the entire town sitting in a café leading to death of an innocent lady with two kids left alone, where terrorists blow the entire school to teach army a lesson.

Can anyone tell me who in the world teaches someone a lesson by killing innocent children who are too naïve to understand any of this?

What happened in Syria or rather happening there has surpassed the levels of humanity. They are killing people like kids show their wrath by throwing pebbles at each other. They marched from Syria across Iraq, where they continue to hold a territory and murder who don’t obey their orders. The ISIS and Syria militias are fighting because of the Sunni-Shia problem, whose root cause is religion. I mean Religion?? Which religion teaches you to kill people or force them to worship GOD in a particular manner. Newspapers say ISIS is very much adamant about their beliefs!

Seriously!! Beliefs?? What kind of beliefs? Did God sent them a personal message to show people the right way or wrong way of Worshiping God? or is there actually a “WAY” to worship God. I thought the belief comes from within and like I always say–God is nothing but peace in your sleep, motivation in your thoughts, courage within you, love in the world. He is sunni, he is shia, he is allah, he is jesus, he is krishna and he is if you believe, not if you do not.

This incorrect understanding of the whole “GOD Concept” makes people do some highly offensive things. In the disguise of religion they do such obnoxious things just to feel contented about what they are doing. This is wrong..this is making people heartless..and creating an imbalance in the society. I do not disrespect any religion, but I truly believe that no religion can teach us to kill, rape, or murder for self-interest!

I bid a Goodbye to 2014 in a hope that it takes away all the unfortunate things.

2015–Please add some Humanity in the air, homo sapiens truly need it!

Happy New Year- Let’s Make World A Better Place!

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The first day of 2015 is here! Everyone is hoping to rock their respective worlds for, at least, the coming year. A lot happened in the previous year–less fortunate and more unfortunate things. This is, but, a harsh reality to gulp down. The world needs more beautiful souls like you guys to add a little more love, a little more happiness and a little more peace to this world.

So let us forget all the ill-feelings and bad thoughts and make this world a better place to live.

You are just required to do your bit and the rest will be taken care of.

Stay Blessed, Stay Happy and Stay Calm!

New Year Wishes From “Thoughts” 

I almost lived a movie…

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Though I never aspired to be an actress, but the idea of ‘living a movie for one day’ really stirs up my hidden acting talent ;). My city is witnessing continuous rains since 2 days. I love rains all the time except when it is accompanied by an extremely cold weather. Winters are beautiful but then the beauty decreases with your urgency to go to your office and that too early in the morning. I had one exam this Sunday at a place close to my native place. Amid all the rain and cold I had to start early in the morning. I reached there one and a half hour before time. It was absolutely cold, raining, foggy, hilly and aloof.

With my umbrella on, I went to the guard and asked to open the gate. With that evil grin he refused to open with an extremely poor logic of “security reasons”. Nobody was allowed to enter even the canteen for “security reasons”. From where in the world these guys bring such stupid reasons to fool students. Anyway!! With no other option left, I went back into the rain and cold with wet shoes. This place is on my way to home but I never happened to stop here and explore. So it was close to an alien land with fog all around and no other person to ask for help. I walked a bit and stood in a tiny electronics shop with hardly any light. My wet shoes and socks made me shiver like a person who has been given an electric shock! The shopkeeper suggested me to go to the “dhaba” and have some tea. After walking a little more, I found one air-conditioned tea shop—with tin roof, and dirty benches.

I had no other option—so I drank the tea and warmed up a bit. I left the place as soon as I could. I found a good looking, and cute restaurant built of wood. With a tinge of happiness I walked towards that…and to my dismay..it started snowing heavily!!! I love snow but not like this..it was killing my happiness then.

I entered and ordered for a bowl of soup. It took that waiter a half-an-hour to bring that soup. Meanwhile I opened by cold-ridden shoes. My feet was numb, unable to make any movement and almost dead.  I shouted for hot-water. The waiter came terrified as if his boss is angry for some reason and placed a glass of hot water on my table. I lifted the glass and as I walked towards the door…I realized that I am missing an amazing amazing scene. A heavy snow fall from the windowpane of a small hut restaurant!!

With all what was happening, I almost felt like I am living a movie!! I walked past the door and dropped that hot water on my feet. They were pretty much cold and demanded serious attention. I sat on the chair with folded feet and had my soup—watched the amazing view and lived an amazing day. I have seen snow for countless times but never realized its beauty.

But then…I had to leave the restaurant and go for my exam amid all the cold outside. We all know how exams have the real talent of screwing your happiness!!! 😦

P.S: Affection only grows as we move away from a thing, place or person!